Rare-Pair Shorts
by JubileeBee
Summary: just a collection of random pairings in short-story format [ not exactly drabbles but ] each chapter's a diff pairing and characters may or may not be severely ooc cuz im not that good of a writer aaah OTL rated teen bc homestuck lol
1. Roxy x Cronus

(( AN: first off hi! i lit just made this account to publish this [ which i finished like ten mins b4 i made the account ] and since i had fun typing it i decided i would do a few more and see how it goes! this is the only one so far so i didn't know what to tag it as or what characters to add ;u; plus it's my first time using this website for anything other than reading other people's fanfics so!

ill try not to ramble too much here i just wanted to upload this somehwere public and hopefully get some feedback, especially if it's from seasoned writers like i know a lot of ppl are here

i couldnt decide if they should be humanstuck or not so i left out major characteristics to leave it up to the reader :

so well i hope you enjoy and please comment / leave feedback or critique if you can! uvu nighty night! ))

**Chapter 1: **Roxy [heart] Cronus

His appearance was something you never knew you were into.

On anyone else, his personality would have induced the most violent of hurls.

The way he spoke, the smug tone that dominated his speech with every word, could make anyone cringe.

And yet you found yourself falling harder for him everyday, every minute, every time your name left his lips and kissed your eardrums in his lightly accented voice.

It wasn't entirely your fault, though. While on the surface - and the majority of his core - he was harsh, insensitive, and brutally unpleasant, he harbored manners deep within the depths of his microscopic soul he rarely ever showed. In fact, you recently noticed he seemed to reserve them for you, and only when no one else was around.

When you greet him in your usual manner - loud, but pleasant enough to earn yourself a smile - he returns your pleasantries with a light "Hey," and asks if you're in the mood for something to eat. Of _course_ you're hungry, you say, reminding him you're hungry basically three-hundred percent of the time. He smiles again, this time with a laugh on his lips, and the charm dripping from his gaze is almost enough to make you melt. He takes your hand, the other tucked away in his pocket, and you can't help by trail your bubblegum gaze down the curves of his toned arms, veins gracing the skin and pulsing lightly when he gives your hand a squeeze.

"Pay attention," he teases as you hurry across a crosswalk, and when a car honks in your direction, you both gracefully flip whoever's driving that lunch-wagon the bird and share a laugh over the gesture.

For a large portion of the walk, he's silent, save for a tune he hums every other block or so. You voice a thought that the song sounds familiar to you, you just can't put your tongue on it, and he refreshes your memory with a brief "It's by Ludo."

"Ludo!" you chirp, "Roxy! Aw, you're too sweet for your own good." You give him a playful nudge, and since he returns it, it's obviously on, so you both spend the rest of the walk nudging and poking and rubbing shoulders until his hand leaves yours and his arm is resting comfortably on your waist. Just to get you to stop, he insists, and with a smirk you do the same, claiming it's for the same reason.

Blocks pass before you two reach the restaurant, and the sun assumes a golden glow that reflects off his skin in just the right way, brightening his eyes and emphasizing the one stubborn curl that admittedly makes his gelled coif a tad bit cuter. You reach up to fiddle with the strand, but his mouth interrupts any further movement. His lips mold around yours and you're frozen where you stand, muscles tensed and eyes wide, but within a matter of seconds your eyes flutter closed, and your hand falls to your side where his fingers catch yours. His lips are chapped, but warm against yours, his kiss gentle and sweet and you don't know where you are anymore or what time it is or what your name is, actually, who are you, you don't care, your mind is flooded with bliss and you can hear your heart thudding in your ears.

His foot keeps the door propped open, and you both vaguely make out the irritated shouts of customers inside complaining about the chill creeping into the restaurant, barking at you to get in or shut the door.

But neither of you mind.


	2. Equius x Feferi

**AN:** i apologize for the delay between chapters! i literally forgot lol so im sorry about that but i got around to quickly tapping this out uvu it was legit just a spur-of-the-moment ship i thought about before & while i was typing so there are prob typos and errors and im p sure the tenses are inconsistent but i thought itd make a cute matespritship uvu

and again any and all feedback / comments are greatly appreciated so feel free to leave some!

**Chapter 2:** Equius [heart] Feferi

A hot, sticky day.

A hot, sticky sun.

The couch was hot. The couch was sticky. And you were far from comfortable.

But still, in the impossibly warm weather, she seemed to be surrounded by an aura of coolness that made the small beads of sweat dappling her nose and temples almost non-existent. Suddenly, she perked up, suggesting you two visit the beach. Your gentle protests fell on deaf ears as she hustled about the house, gathering towels and shovels and beach balls.

"I'll teach you to surf! It'll be fun." She beamed at you, a grin baring her teeth and revealing the most subtle dimple in her cheek. You must have relented, because next thing you knew, you were propped up in the passenger seat of her fuchsia Porsche, headed for the beach.

And now you stood just inches from the water, sunlight glaring off the edge of your cracked shades as you eyed the wet sand suspiciously. Again, Feferi's cheery voice tickled your eardrums and she was at your side. She reached for your glasses, insisting you wouldn't need them. When she returned from setting them down on the beach towel, a surfboard was expertly tucked under her arm. It was dominated by beige wood, but a navy stripe matching your eyes adorned its middle, and you could tell she had picked it out just for you. She took your hand and gently led you into the water. Your grip, or lack thereof, was delicate, as though you feared hurting her in any way. She often pointed that out, adding it was one of your cutest traits, and this time was no exception.

The water was cool around your legs, gradually reaching your thighs and then your midriff. The waves lap at both your chests, and a frown tugs at your mouth. "I'm right here," she assures, a warm smile crossing her lips. Your tense muscles relax to the point where your arms easily float on the water while she laid the surfboard down beside you. She steadied it and motions for you to climb on. Clumsy limbs and wet hair aside, you somehow manage to stagger ungracefully onto the wood. The edges dip with your unbalanced weight, and you nearly shudder at the prospect of falling in when she notices your discomfort and climbs up right behind you. Her arms fall onto your waist to keep you balanced, her skin grazing your shoulders. You can hear the smile in her voice when she reminds you she was right there and promises she won't let you fall. Your cheeks are tinted with what you swear is the most unattractive blush in the history of forever when her lips brush your ears to let you know a wave is coming.

A wave, what the hoo-diddly heck, how does surfing even work, you question, and she replies with a giggle. Of course, that helps you zero, but a small wave lifts the board and you squeeze your eyes shut in surprise. W-was that all, you mumble, and she gives your waist a gentle squeeze. "Yeah, hehe, that was all." You heave a sigh, thank the water gods for sparing your soul, and slowly turn a quarter of a degree to thank her. A confused eyebrow quirks above her eye, but she soon laughs and hugs you tighter. "No, silly, don't thank me!" This is what matesprits do, you learn, an she presses a few kisses to your cheek. Okay?

Okay, you nod, the weakness in your knees tossing you both off the board and into the water.


	3. Jane x Eridan

**AN:** oh gosh it's been ages since i updated this but i got another review and id like to formally thank everyone for taking the time to leavea comment ;u; im still pretty clueless with this whole website but you can only comment / review your own story once every chapter so ill just say thanks here ^u^

this one was actually the first i typed and until now i never wanted to publish it because of how short it is but i hope you enjoy! ill tyr and make some different quadrants hehe uvu"

**Chapter 3:** Jane [heart] Eridan

"This one?"

"No."

"How about this one?"

"Nah."

"Oh, come on, this one is lovely!"

"Nope."

"Eridan, what's the deal with you and ties?"

"_Jane_, you know damn well I hate the fuckin' things."

"That's because you never wear them! For Pete's sake, Eridan, it's one night! You can spend an entire day toting dozens of accessories and lugging around that God-forsaken camera of yours, but you can't spend a few hours wearing a piece of cloth around your neck? It's not like you aren't familiar with the feeling! What the hell!"

Looking away, Eridan crossed his arms and uttered what sounded vaguely like a groan of defeat.

Jane gave an irritated huff, cyan eyes glued to her date, "Speak up, Ariel, I can't hear you."

"I said 'fine', Jane!" His tone softened after a sigh, "I'll wear one, alright? I'll even let ya pick or whatever."

The squeal that left Jane's mouth brought a smile to his lips, as much as he mentally tried to deny it.

"See, I knew I agreed to date you for a reason," she teased, lightly tugging the scarf from his neck. "There's no need to hide half your face in this silly neckwear. If looks are your concern, I'll have you know you're _very_ handsome. It takes a lot for me to watch other girls eye you like a flank steak without reacting, hehe."

"Eh, I'm not concerned about how I look. If anythin', I'm kinda paranoid you might find someone better than me."

"You're kidding!"

"Nope. I haven't had the best past when it comes to relationships, heh. But enough o' that, ya still gotta help me pick out a shirt to go with this, 'cause that scarf and a v-neck are still lookin' better than a tie."

Smiling brightly, Jane pressed a kiss to Eridan's lips. "Love you too, four-eyes."


	4. Dirk x Sollux

**AN:** i didn't forget about this i promise uvu so this is one i had extra fun doing cuz it's kismesitude and i never rped or wrote or drew or w.e anything with it so some time last week at around 3am i decided to try it was kind of a learning experience! ofc feel free to give critique, especially if it's in regards to how kismesitude works, cuz damn it's been a while. anyway this one isn't exactly nsfw, but it's more...detailed? idk I personally wouldn't call it graphic or anything there's just a bunch of cursing but hey to each their own so here's a little warning uvu oh! and i basically forgot to keep major characteristics out as i was typing it so if i missed something that's why and i'm sorry! also! ( gosh this is getting ridiculously long ) since this one is kind if awkward im gonna upload another one in a few mins in case you don't like this one nwn" also also they were playing gta iv haha

oh! and one last note! it's all in lowercase because i typed it on my iPod and i have that auto-uppercase thing set off!

**Chapter 4: **Dirk [spade] Sollux

"hey, what the hell? that dick-lick totally saw me about to steal that car!"

"geez, i didn't think you were _that_ blind. aren't your glasses an inch thick?"

"shut up and let me plow through this lane of pedestrians."

"only if i get to mock your incompetence."

what's game night without a little smack-talk? nothing, especially when you're the one dishing it. you sit back against the couch's worn upholstery - weeks of incessant gaming tend to wear an ass-print or two - and your gaze almost naturally follows the character as he clambers over a dumpster, only to be eliminated by the swarm of cops following close behind. for the sixteenth time.

you've been keeping count.

"died again."

"_i know!_" sollux drops the controller in frustration, and you give a light laugh, but he turns from his spot on the floor to face you. "actually, hang on, i, uh...gotta tell you something."

your brows furrow and you start to wonder if it's just another one of his weird secrets when he approaches the couch, he's getting a little close, closer, okay, too close, can't a man get some space, apparently not, but you're too frozen to do anything about his lips just ghosting yours as he mutters, "i hate you. okay?"

okay?

you assume it's a weird secret. just a weird secret, right? it's just another one of his dumb cryptic messages, and he's gonna back up and let you breath. but he doesn't, and it's not, at least no weird secret you're used to, because his lips are soon grinding against yours and he's nipping at your lower lip as if inviting you to some party you weren't prepared for, and his nips become bites and you feel the warmth of your blood delicately dripping off your lips. the look he gives you is victorious, almost taunting, _the nerve of that fucker_, and you want to deck him right in his stupid nerd frames, but something - something nagging you deep i nthe recesses of your mind - keeps you from doing so. maybe it was the kung-pao chicken you had last-

"you know, you're much more _submissive_ than i thought."

hold the phone.

just hold it for a second. yeah, right there, that's perfect.

submissive? dirk motherfucking strider? _submissive? _the way he hisses the word against your jaw a second time has you torn between actually socking him in the nose or just melting into his arms, and while your dumb - stupid, stupid, stupid! - brain takes a few months vacation to recover from the ocean of lust flooding your chest, your mouth steals the spotlight: "listen here, fucker."

you take his jaw between the fingers of your right hand, and your left hand finds the waist of his pants, fingers looping under the belt as you tug him closer. "i am anything _but_." he's grinning now, grinning a stupid smushy grin between your hand. you glare at him and chew on your bottom lip - a habit momentarily broken by the sharp sting of the fresh wound the fucker implanted in your lip. it actually makes you _growl_ - excuse me, what? - and the cockmunch before you chuckles, he freakin' chuckles, and you obviously have no choice but to kiss him.

obviously.

surprisingly - and to your slight joy - he's caught off guard and you both tumble off the couch, just barely missing your Xbox. he pins you against the carpet, smirking like he owns the place, and after an amateur WWE cage-match, you're pressed against him - against your will because the fucker is stronger than he looks, but at least you're on top this time. apparently, though, he's satisfied with anything that makes you angry, and you seethe at him, "i hate you so much, oh, my God."

he's - fuckin' dammit - even more attractive at such a close proximity, you realize, even with his stupid floppy bangs and dull eyes and _sharp, chiseled features, flawless complexion, and gorgeous lips stained red ever-so slightly_, but then again, you _hate_ him, you hate his charm and his idiotic lisp and blatant sarcasm even when you trust him to be serious, why does he even pull that shit, why is he so close to you, did you give him permission to be so close, you think not, he has the worst personality ever, it's, like, 90% jackass, his clothes suck, you hate his face, and furthermore those glasses have _got_ to go.

_but __**damn**__ is that ass fine._


	5. Dave x Nepeta

**AN:** this is the one i promised i'd upload asap, and it's moirallegiance uvu

**Chapter 5: **Dave [diamond] Nepeta

_is obama available for sponsoring_

_i bet i could totally get him to sponsor a couple of my raps_

_invite him out on a dinner date_

_no_

_lunch_

_lunch is def more platonic_

_and be like yo_

_b-rack_

_big o in the white house_

_brobama_

_mr. pres in the land of the freestyle rap_

_b-bama_

_home of the brave housing your man dave here to set a deal hopin i can appeal to Your Presidency with my flow my eyes set on that dough _

_because lets be honest mr president money doesn't grow on trees and even if it did do you know how quick that shit would be gone trees would never be green again i can guarantee that people would take the buds and just throw that shit in a pot of soil somewhere to grow their own itd be hella dangerous out there can't even stand for some shade without some greedy farmer hollering at me like 'nah son you best find your own cash stash this one's taken' and threatening me with a rake_

Your unhealthy flow is stunted by a light knocking on the door, and the sound of running water and the minty freshness in your mouth bring you back to reality. This particular reality is your bathroom 11:12am, and evidently you were just zoning out while brushing your teeth again. The knocking comes again, this time a little louder, and the knob turns.

"Geez, Dave, you're taking forever!" Nepeta chides, squeezing her way into the bathroom. "This is the last time I'm sleeping over, mister."

"You said that every single time you've stayed over. When should I actually start worryin'?" You give her a playful nudge and she flicks some water at you. In a matter of seconds you two are engaged in the water-fight of the century: t-shirts are dripping, the floor's become the ocean, and even precious bedheads are sacrificed. She wrings her short mop of hair out into the tub while you settle for shaking out the water just like the little dog you were meant to be.

11:48am and you're _finally_ out of the bathroom, your best friend in tow. You're layered in hoodies while she's wrapped in a couple sweaters. There's a brisk chill outside despite the approaching noon sun, and she suggests you both go out for hot chocolate. You _almost_ consider making your own, but since you burned the milk last time, you nod eagerly and grab your keys.

"No, wait," she giggles, "can I do your hair first?"

"My hair's fine," but you both know it's the lying-est lie of all time. You redeem yourself with a grin, "Only if I get to do yours first." She happily obliges and runs to get her combs and brushes and clips. When she returns, she plunks herself and all the hair paraphernalia down on the couch. You barely touch a thing, instead going for the more easily-identifiable tools, and you delicately comb her hair back. It's still a little damp, and you're so careful of tangles she drifts to sleep. It's fine with you, though, because it takes almost half an hour for you to figure out how to do a ponytail, and when you finally do you secure it lightly with a bright green ribbon. You admire the professionally-styled coiff before tapping her awake. She holds a mirror to her face and squeals with joy, and she's ecstatic to get _you_ on the couch and mess with your locks.

It's 12:51pm when you leave for hot chocolate, all smiles with your blond braids tucked into your scarf.


	6. Dave x Sollux

**AN: **this was a request and the ship is so cute i hope you like it! uvu [ also i gotta say this was inspired by an adorable sterek comic i saw on tumblr haha nwn ]

**Chapter 6: **Dave [heart] Sollux

"Sol," came a weak whine followed by loud sniffles.

"Soooool," a cough, "aaaagh."

With a frown, you abandon your position on your boyfriend's bedroom floor and trudge into the living room. "Yeah, what's wrong?"

"_Everything_."

You can't help rolling your eyes. "Well, yeah, obviously. I mean, look at you." He grunts in reply and shifts on the couch. "Sorry. You need something?"

After a cough that sounded like it shattered one of his lungs, Dave props himself up against the arm of the couch and pouts at you. "Help me be not sick."

"Did the fever turn off your brain or someth-ugh, sorry. It's hard not to insult you when you're healthy, and this is making everything so much worse, heh." You sigh and approach the couch, kneeling against its back and studying your boyfriend's declining appearance. "What do you want me to do?"

"Soup."

"...Soup?"

"Make chicken soup for your sick hubby."

"Ha!" Hubby? Did he really expect you to be serious when he called himself a 'hubby'? What was next, 'honey bunch'? Or, no, 'boy-toy'. _That_ would be hilarious.

"I'm seeerious, Sollux, I'm _dyin'_."

"Alright, alright, I'll make you soup. I guess."

It's another ten minutes before you pry your gaze from the simple recipe held onto the fridge by a couple magnets - so what if one was shaped like a heart - and actually make an attempt at starting the meal Dave so desperately needed. The first ingredient was, easily enough, water. _Pft, even I can get that, _you mentally boast, but your reign of confidence is quickly terminated by the next ingredient.

"What the hell is a bull-onion?" Your eyebrows furrow instantly. Now, you're no fan of soup, but bull-onions? "DAVE!"

"Ugh, _what?_"

You hurry into the living room and hold the paper up to him. He hazily blinks at it a few times, and you point at the suspicious ingredient. "We don't have those. I can't make your soup."

Dave reaches for a handful of tissues and bunches them against his nose. "Go out an' buy some bullions, then." His voice is muffled, but you groan regardless.

Another ten minutes is wasted by your impromptu shopping trip, and when you make it back to Dave's apartment, you make a point of hopping over the back of the couch and landing just inches from Dave's legs. "Hungry?"

His eyes narrow suspiciously. "You finished the soup already?"

With a grin, you shake your head and pull up a large paper bag from the local fast food restaurant.

"_Chicken nuggets?_ Sollux, that's not chicken soup."

"I can get you a bowl of hot water and you can float them in there if you really want soup." Your grin refuses to leave your face and you eagerly open up one of the several boxes. "It's cool, though, you can just thank me later."

A prolonged glare is cast your way, and you quickly pepper Dave's cheek with kisses. He relents soon enough, claiming your box as his own and stuffing a couple nuggets into his mouth.

"Just be grateful you're cute."


End file.
